Beach Reads – What do you require. Part 1

Ah, the infamous beach read.  The books you choose to snuggle up with whilst your toes are dug firmly in the sand, and the ocean breeze dances through you hair.  With my beach vacay only weeks away, I am on the prowl for the perfect beach reads.  Now the most I can read is probably four, its likey I’ll read 3, but I need to bring at least 7.  Just in case.  Soooo…here are some of my requirements for a perfect beach read.  First, what NOT to read at the beach.

1.  MUST BE A PAPERBACK.  A.  I just prefer them, and B. like I’m hauling 7 hardcovers to the beach to get all gritted up, dunked and sandy.

2.  NOTHING DEPRESSING. These would be books that include:  War, Suicide, Children dying, Cancer, Genocide, Holocosts, Amputations, Plague’s, Wasted beer, and Dieting.  However, serial killers, divorce, infidelity, excorcisms, and eating disorders are all OK.

3.  NO CLASSICS  – anything you can be tested on and/or can write a 1000 word essay on does not count as a beach read.

4.  NO CRACK – Just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean I have to smoke crack.  James Patterson kiss my azz!  Michael Creighton – find another sucka.  Mass markets are a no no.  Trust me, these will be heavily pushed by family members who think they are being helpful.  Just Say No!

Part 2, coming soon!


8 Responses to “Beach Reads – What do you require. Part 1”

  1. I love light, fun reads at the beach – and definitely no hardcovers (unless it’s Harry Potter – I will make an exception for that one)!

  2. Oh I just love these guidelines. You are so right in the way you split up your depressing from non-depressing reads. Now why should that be so?

  3. Michelle Says:

    It has to be mindless enough to allow for the distractions of 1) naps, 2) checking out people and 3) trying to keep your kids from drowning, but engaging enough to keep you interested.

    My beach vacation is in a little over a month, so let me know what you chose and how it worked for you.

  4. I can draw and paint at the beach but I can’t read. Too much glare.

  5. Steph – shhh….don’t tell a soul, but I’m real into the Happy Potter books. yikes, duck and run.

    litlove – I don’t know why that is. Strange.

    Michelle – yes, kids drowning would not be a good thing.

    LK – Bummer. You need like industrial strengh sunglasses.

  6. You had me laughing out loud with the NO CRACK rule – I’m hearing the ‘James Patterson kiss my azz’ line said in the crack-Whitney-Houston voice, ala Being Bobby Brown

  7. les – Hi! I love using the word crack. I try to sneak it in whenever I can.

  8. Well put, I always find hardbacks awkward. At the beach? Ugh

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