Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

Holidays on Ice

Where has David Sedaris been all my life?  I mean, seriously.  People have been urging me, begging me to read his books for so long and I’ve been IGNORING them.  Why? Why? Why?  No reason really, other than I just had my sights set on other books at the time.   Well, I certainly am glad I finally listened to the masses.  He is hysterical, sarcastic, witty, and dry as desert sand.  I love him….I really do.

Holidays on Ice is a slim book of 6 Christmas stories.  In the first story, Santaland Diaries, he applies for a job as one of Santa’s elves at Macy’s Department store in New York.   Please, allow me to share some quotes:

I am a thirty three year old man applying for a job as an elf.

I’m certain that I failed my drug test.  My urine had had roaches and stems floating in it.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I often see people on the streets dressed as objects and handing out leaflets.  I tend to avoid leaflets but it breaks my heart to see a grown man dressed as a taco.

In the next story, Seasons Greetings to our friends and Family!!!, Sedaris takes a shot at those “progress report” type Christmas letters some people like to send out.   It takes a sick twist on page 66 of the paperback so beware.  May I quote again:

The child, having been given the legal name, “Satan speaks,” would have a harder time than most.

Knowing that he would physically grow to adulthood while maintaining the attention span of the common housefly did not, in the least bit, diminish our feelings for him.

This book was a ton of fun.  I recommend it, but I give FAIR WARNING.  This book is not for the sensitive or faint of heart.  It is highly amusing but also rude, absurd, disgusting and offensive.  So turn you PC meter down low and make sure your sense of humor is nice and healthy before you pick it up, or don’t at all.

And David Sedaris, if you are ever in my neck of the woods, look me up.  I wanna be your friend.  Please.


6 Responses to “Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris”

  1. Are you Canadian? I used to work at Indigo and his books were best sellers during the season. Even non-readers enjoy his wacjy humour. Happy to hear you had a great read. I just finished Mansfield park (YES!) and started Christmas Carol by C Dickens. Looking forward to some cozy time.

  2. I love him. My favorite is Naked so you must get that 🙂 I had the chance to hear him at a reading he did in Dallas several years ago. Hilarious.

  3. His sister also has a great book out for a holiday gift — it’s called “I Like You” and is basically a guide to white trash entertaining. Same sense of humor. I bought it for my friend and can’t stop reading it myself. Hilarious.

  4. Glad you chose that one and if you haven’t read Naked, be prepared to laugh out loud. I love his bit on the Christmas card progress reports because every year when my family reads the boastful letters of my parents friends we joke about putting together one about our family full of white trash tragedy as a joke.

  5. I also like Me Talk Pretty Some Day.

    Glad you liked the book! (I forgot how totally un-PC is was!)

  6. ;.* I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives useful information “,~

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